I’m not very proud of my past when it comes to eating. I used to hide food, sneak food, and binge on food when no one was looking. I was ashamed that people would look at me, this almost 300 pound girl, and judge me for eating what I wanted to eat. As I always said, being overweight is the worst kept secret a person can hide. You wear it on your sleeve. It’s not like a drug or alcohol addiction where you can still look presentable in person. A food addiction is written all over your body.
I was going through my room today and I stumbled upon an old, black, dusty purse. I had all intentions on throwing it out because, well, it looked like it had gone through Hurricane Sandy and back. But, like we all do, I opened it up just to see if I could somehow score a $20. That’s not what I found.
I found a blatant reminder of my past. Riddled inside were countless empty wrappers of junk food, candy, and paper towels that I can only assume held cookies at some point. I looked at the bag, I sighed, and the only thing I could say was, “Oh, Erin.”
To be reminded of your old self is sometimes terrifying, yet somewhat cathartic. You look at yourself now and say, “Wow. I can’t believe I was ever that person.” It fuels your fire to keep moving forward, but most importantly: it reminds you of how far you’ve come.
Stay the course.