“I look for the trifecta: an abortion clinic, a bail bondsman, and a gold buyer!”

I was swimming the other day at my gym and I overheard a gentleman telling some other people in the pool that he made a trip to a seedy part of New Jersey. His peers laughed and agreed that the area that he visited was, indeed, a bad area. The man then replied,

“Yeah! I look for the trifecta: an abortion clinic, a bail bondsman, and a gold buyer! If I see them all on the same street, I know I’m in trouble!”

The guy swimming wasn't Michael Phelps, but whatever.

The guy swimming wasn’t Michael Phelps, but whatever.

I overheard this and I was a little enraged. Ok, well, no. I was severely enraged. The man suggested that if he saw all three of these establishments on one street that he was in the “ghetto” or just a bad area of town. I had no idea that an abortion clinic was “ghetto”!

It is men like this that continue to give a negative connotation to abortion clinics. There is nothing ghetto about going to an abortion clinic. In fact, abortion clinics are filled with women who are strong enough to understand that right now is not the proper time. They understand that they want the best for their future child and do not want to bring their own son or daughter into this world when they cannot give the child the best life possible. How is that ghetto, swimming-pool-man?

I surely hope he didn’t raise his children to think that abortion clinics and women who go to abortion clinics are “ghetto,” because that just rustles my jimmies.

Don’t Live in Mississippi If You Want an Abortion

Did you know that there is only one abortion clinic in the state of Mississippi? Did you know that the government is trying to shut down that lonely abortion clinic? As of right now, there is a state law that “that would require a clinic’s abortion providers to be certified OB/GYN practitioners and for those physicians to all have privileges at an area hospital.” Well, this puts a damper on things.

Get outta my vagina, politicians!

I’m half and half on this story. On one side, I’m all for abortion. Not in the facetious way, but the fact that it is your right to have an abortion if you want to do so. I think that abortions should be safe. I think that abortions should be private. Most importantly, I think every woman in America should have the option to have an abortion. On the other hand, I also think that abortions should be safe. I think licensed doctors, preferably OB/GYNs should only perform abortions. The one thing about this law that infuriates me the most is the second part, you know, about the whole “those physicians … have privileges at an area hospital”. Well, shit, Mississippi.  You just shot yourself in the foot there. You guys are so anti-abortion that no one can get a damn local license to practice abortions at a hospital. Wanna know why? ‘Cause all the hospitals are religiously affiliated!  You know that if you forget this huge part, you’re opening up a can of worms of abortions. The horror! Not to mention that you guys have the shittiest laws around abortion: waiting 24 hours and getting parental consent. Let me shake my fist at you, Mississippi.

So, what do we do in this situation where the only abortion clinic in the state of Mississippi needs to shut down because they do not comply to the “all must be OB/GYN” rule? To that I say: Get more abortion clinics with licensed doctors. Why is there only one abortion clinic in the entire state, anyway? What else do I say: I say that OB/GYNs should be able to practice wherever their little heart desires. Why should they have to be tacked onto a local hospital? Oh, right, ’cause you don’t want abortions to happen. Look like Mississippi wants their ladies to go to the back alley for a makeshift abortion.

What do you guys think?