Chris Christie is the Devil

I was browsing the Internet this morning and this interesting video popped up on my feed. Another Chris Christie post! Strap yourself in!

I wouldn’t want to be the person at the end of that finger.

On Friday, he was at a press conference where he was supposed to be talking about a water main break that occurred in Monmouth County the day prior. Although a local issue, a reporter decided to ask a question regarding a meeting that Christie was having on Monday (yesterday) about lowering taxes for the middle class.

When Christie was asked this clearly innocent question, he asked the reporter, “Are you stupid?” and demanded they stay on topic. When no more questions were being asked, Christie then was a gentleman and apologized to the rest of the crowd for “the idiot in the back.”

Let’s give a slow clap to governor of the decade: Christopher Christie! Wahoo!

Here’s the video so you can enjoy it in all it’s glory.

Don’t Live in Mississippi If You Want an Abortion

Did you know that there is only one abortion clinic in the state of Mississippi? Did you know that the government is trying to shut down that lonely abortion clinic? As of right now, there is a state law that “that would require a clinic’s abortion providers to be certified OB/GYN practitioners and for those physicians to all have privileges at an area hospital.” Well, this puts a damper on things.

Get outta my vagina, politicians!

I’m half and half on this story. On one side, I’m all for abortion. Not in the facetious way, but the fact that it is your right to have an abortion if you want to do so. I think that abortions should be safe. I think that abortions should be private. Most importantly, I think every woman in America should have the option to have an abortion. On the other hand, I also think that abortions should be safe. I think licensed doctors, preferably OB/GYNs should only perform abortions. The one thing about this law that infuriates me the most is the second part, you know, about the whole “those physicians … have privileges at an area hospital”. Well, shit, Mississippi.  You just shot yourself in the foot there. You guys are so anti-abortion that no one can get a damn local license to practice abortions at a hospital. Wanna know why? ‘Cause all the hospitals are religiously affiliated!  You know that if you forget this huge part, you’re opening up a can of worms of abortions. The horror! Not to mention that you guys have the shittiest laws around abortion: waiting 24 hours and getting parental consent. Let me shake my fist at you, Mississippi.

So, what do we do in this situation where the only abortion clinic in the state of Mississippi needs to shut down because they do not comply to the “all must be OB/GYN” rule? To that I say: Get more abortion clinics with licensed doctors. Why is there only one abortion clinic in the entire state, anyway? What else do I say: I say that OB/GYNs should be able to practice wherever their little heart desires. Why should they have to be tacked onto a local hospital? Oh, right, ’cause you don’t want abortions to happen. Look like Mississippi wants their ladies to go to the back alley for a makeshift abortion.

What do you guys think?

Chris Christie Makes Me Want to Punch a Baby

Living in New Jersey has its perks: I have the shore about 20 minutes away, I can hop on the train and be in NYC in an hour, and I am constantly being asked if I fist pump like Snookie (which is true, but only on Tuesdays). New Jersey also has it’s downfalls: Newark is the smelliest city ever, we are blessed with the highest taxes, and our govenor, Chris Christie, is a total tool.

Oh, Chris Christie.

New Jersey just tried to push a bill that decriminalizes small amounts of marijuana. Hip, hip, hooray! Finally, people can carry a baggie of the least harmful drug and not get thrown in jail! “Not so fast!” Chris Christie says with his fist of rage.

Christie vetoed the bill and stated that since marijuana possession is a federal crime, the states should have no say in that. OK, fine deal, Christie, but why are you going to sign your Hancock on a legislation that supports sports gambling?

Christie argues that “gambling happens every week in New Jersey and people know about it.” Alright there, buddy. So, are you trying to say that people don’t get high in New Jersey and people don’t know about that? It’s as if Christie could make some cashmoney with gambling, therefore he’ll pass it. Hm. Logical.

Also, who names their kid Chris when his last name is Christie? Idiots.

And that’s exactly what I mean.