Chris Christie Makes Me Want to Punch a Baby

Living in New Jersey has its perks: I have the shore about 20 minutes away, I can hop on the train and be in NYC in an hour, and I am constantly being asked if I fist pump like Snookie (which is true, but only on Tuesdays). New Jersey also has it’s downfalls: Newark is the smelliest city ever, we are blessed with the highest taxes, and our govenor, Chris Christie, is a total tool.

Oh, Chris Christie.

New Jersey just tried to push a bill that decriminalizes small amounts of marijuana. Hip, hip, hooray! Finally, people can carry a baggie of the least harmful drug and not get thrown in jail! “Not so fast!” Chris Christie says with his fist of rage.

Christie vetoed the bill and stated that since marijuana possession is a federal crime, the states should have no say in that. OK, fine deal, Christie, but why are you going to sign your Hancock on a legislation that supports sports gambling?

Christie argues that “gambling happens every week in New Jersey and people know about it.” Alright there, buddy. So, are you trying to say that people don’t get high in New Jersey and people don’t know about that? It’s as if Christie could make some cashmoney with gambling, therefore he’ll pass it. Hm. Logical.

Also, who names their kid Chris when his last name is Christie? Idiots.

And that’s exactly what I mean.